Since the olympics come around only once every four years - two years now that the television Gods have had their way (something only Zeus once had the power to do) - I tend to take interest in them.  I marvel at the mental and physical capabilities that the elite athletes can display.  Case in point, I was watching men’s downhill yesterday and the television feeds have setup some amazing camera angles and slo-mo technology that exposes these athletes in jaw-dropping detail. 

I have done some rudimentary downhill before so I know that for most mortals, barrelling downhill is a tentative venture at best.  A typical self-conversation that goes on in my mind when going down a hill is something like:  “Don’t die, don’t die don’t die, ohmygod I’m losing balance!  Phew, still up.  Snowplow Snowplow Snowplow!”  A bystander would see a skiier with reasonable balance going down the hill at a respectable pace.  I wonder what goes on in the mind of these olympic racers.  They are moving beyond breakneck speeds and with what appears to be sheer recklessness.  The new camera angles and the slo-mos typically show a person who is constantly struggling simply to stay vertical.  And when they show a camera angle that gives a great perspective as to how STEEP the slope is, I realize they are insane.  By far the most dangerous of all olympic events.

Speaking of events, I think it’s time to revamp the events.  Let’s get rid of the following:

Any event that requires judging.  Exception:  gymnastics

Additions:  golf, fishing, darts, tug-of-war, strongest man, and to appease Pat:  dwarf-tossing.