There were some interesting talks towards the end of the conference that definitely increased the value of going. The bummer of it all is that I now have to give a talk to the group about my experiences at JavaOne. Just high level stuff though so that’s not so bad.
On the Thursday night the conference holds an “After Dark” party from 7-10. Picture this: An airplane hangar full of geeks and social inepts. About 5000 maladjusted peoples. So, what do you think these people (I guess I would have to include myself) do? Simply put: they need to be entertained. For without a computer it is hard for them to entertain themselves. How/what was the entertainment you ask? Well, it broke down like this:
Pavilions or “stations” of fun with a Mad Scientist / Laboratory theme:
- A cluster of mini-trampolines that each geekoid is strapped into for safety and then they proceed to jump up and down. They are able to gain unusual heights with the assistance of a system of pulleys that are manned by a gaggle of carnies dressed up in ‘mad scientist garb’ This cluster resulted in a lengthy line-up
- A couple of constant ‘montages’ or ‘mini-plays’ that portray mad scientists conducting strange and kooky experiments. Or at least pretending to. No vocals, just action. These areas resulted in large flocks of nerdlings observing while snacking on fried treats.
- A station where you could challenge “Fatal1ty” : showcased as the “Greatest professional gamer on earth”. You have probably heard of him. Well, he’s not the Comic Book guy that I thought he’d be. He’s more of that “Ashton Kucher-never grow up” guy without the pretty boy charm. Anyway, for 4 minutes you could be privileged to play Fatal1ty one-on-one in the latest version of Quake (forgive me if I don’t know it’s official name). So here’s a summary of how his opponents fared: “Fragged by Fatal1ty”,”Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, “Fragged by Fatal1ty”, ……you get the picture. I’d say the average game was 20 frags for Fatal1ty, -5 for opponent (negative because the morons kept falling off the platforms into space). Oh, there was this one guy that somehow was able to push Fatal1ty off the platform (probably while he was looking away reaching for his beer) – but that doesn’t count as a frag. I must admit this station was interesting but if you wanted to play the guy, well, you had to wait in this really long line.
- An arcade station with many retro video and pinball games as well as some new ones. I didn’t play though. It didn’t seem right for me to monopolize a machine for the length of time it takes me to play. Plus, I didn’t want to steal Fatal1ty’s thunder. One ace gamer is enough for a party of this magnitude. And besides, it would’ve taken a while to get to a game because there was this big line-up.
- Several food stations and several drink stations. I didn’t have anything though. I couldn’t see where the line-ups ended.
So, picture a party of 5000 people in a fancied up laser-infused room the size of a hangar. But picture them forming this random labyrinth layout of long lines to get to somewhere. Now picture trying to move around the room by having to cut through all these lines. This is what a monster geek party is like. But it couldn’t truly be the creme de la creme without some very special hosts: “The Mythbusters”! You’re thinking, well, that’s not so bad. But you’d be wrong. While they were there, they didn’t perform any cool experiments because of the San Francisco fire laws (yada yada yada). So all they did was “MC” the festivities. Yawn.
Unfortunately I left before the main act: an AC/DC cover band called: “AC/D-Shee”. With a crown that consisted of a male-female ration of 9.5:1, what better way to entertain than an all-girl cover band? Sweet.
Well, Friday was go home day but not until 10:15pm on the red-eye. So, since the guys I was with had never been to SF, we hitched the bus to the Golden Gate Bridge and then to Fisherman’s Wharf for some touristy time. You know, I’ve been to these places many times but I still love ’em. Memories.
The plane ride home sucked a la big time – I was jammed into a middle seat – my very worst pet peeve of travelling. And I have to blame this on the fact that my finely honed travel skills have been dullened. It was indicated clearly on my e-ticket as “21E – only middle seat guaranteed at this time”. If I had only been more attentive I would have taken more initiative to rectify that.
But, I managed, and arrived home at around 8:00am wondering if little OG would play shy with me or what the reaction would be. To my utter astonishment when she saw me come in the door, from her high chair she was smiling from ear to ear and couldn’t wait to play bongos on Daddy’s head. What a great feeling that was! We were one happy family again! Exhausted as I was it sure was a high moment for me.
Note to self: don’t take trips in the 1st year of your child’s life – you miss waaayyy too much stuff. I couldn’t believe how much she’d grown in the span of 5 days.