Tilting the Power

By | January 11, 2006

I read the following from an interview in MacLean’s with Betsy Hart.  She is the author of ‘It Takes a Parent:  How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting’:

What exactly is the “culture of pushover parenting”?:

I think it comes down to being told by the “experts” that children come into this world full of inherent virtue and goodness.  They just need a little tweaking here and there.  They need a parent’s cheerleading.  Not so much parent’s guidance.  And once you believe that – then the stage is set for being intimidated by them…..it’s our job as parents to civilize them.

The interview goes further to point out that parents are whimps and are forgetting to say ‘NO’ to their child to avoid adversity.  One thing that struck me is that there is a trend for parents to use their children as surrogates for their competitive impulses.  I.e. invest all your efforts into your children so they can achieve the glories you failed or didn’t even consider to accomplish when you had the chance.  Yikes.  It’s like their reading my mind.  Yes, I definitely have goals for my child to become that superstar athlete in whatever sport she can earn a massive living.

 At any rate, a cool concept to foster a sense of accomplishment in the family:  The Family Cup.  This can be a nice trophy that gets handed to a member of the family when they accomplish something remarkable.  The goal is to be the person who gives it to the next person.

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